Planet Marijuana

Planet Marijuana

May 24, 2015, NASA announced that they have discovered a planet completely covered with marijuana. Now, like any other Mary Jane lover’s, the eyes of All Access Blog lit up…for about 2.5 seconds! At the end of the day, this is a planet, that is miles upon miles upon miles away from earth.

Planet X637Z-43 (the planet’s current name), taken by surprise by scientists, was discovered using NASA’s Kepler satellite. Allegedly, one of the very few planets potentially habitable, sufficient levels of oxygen and nitrogen to support human life, has been detected. Hmm… are your wheels turning yet? How exactly, does a planet have sufficient levels of oxygen and nitrogen and more importantly, how is there a planet full of marijuana, which is a plant, surviving without any water??? Yes there’s oxygen but plants need water too. These “experts” believe that the presence of marijuana on other planets could “strongly encourage” future generations to take “interest” in space exploration. The point of the quotation marks around certain words? Well, these experts can’t possibly think that youngsters would spend a large amount of money in order to travel for years in order to get to a planet filled with dope when there’s a dispensary 15 min from their house. Surely space travel isn’t cheap.

The Kepler satellite generated chlorophyll concentration analyses that has led experts to believe that the level of THC in these pot plants is 3000% higher than the plants found on Earth. Surely experts thought this would light up the blunt blazing community’s life…we think not! 3000% higher than the plants here on Earth. We don’t think anyone wants to get so high that they actually start to float outside of their body…that’s like a get so high you die percentage, give us a break! “If that doesn’t motivate young people to explore space, I don’t know what will”, one expert said enthusiastically. Since the discovery, NASA has launched a campaign on social media sites to name the new planet and so far, the name Bob Marley has taken the lead with over 2,094,367 votes at the time of the report.

I’m sure you guys can sense the sarcasm in this post. We meant it that’s for sure. Do experts really think that this so-called planet covered in ganja is going to get young people, or anyone who likes to burn cannabis for that matter, to spend a pretty penny to travel for years to smoke THC that could get them so high that they get to meet a higher power earlier than planned. Yea, try again NASA!



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